The Pirates of the Portrait Shoppe continue their reign of terror!

THE PIRATES ARE RECRUITING!!!

THIS JUST IN: One of the pirates, a dangerous looking bloke who, as best we can tell, is called "The Dread Pirate Ryan," seems to have recently recruited a first-mate. This new buckaneer looks to be even more dread than Ryan himself. Our advice: stay in your house! Lock your doors! If these pirates continue their rampage at the Portrait Shoppe there's no telling what could become of all our children!



As a famous king of England once said in a movie, "Run Away! RUN AWAY!"

I don't know what's worse - the fact that there are pirates running amok in Lexington, or that they're taking photos of one another!

Pirartes Attack the Plaza at Fayette Mall!!!

RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!

Pirates are attacking! Pirates are attacking! A confirmed visual has been recorded in Lexington, KY of Pirates run amok among a local strip mall. See for yourselves:



Don't take our word for it, come see it yourself - actual, real-life pirates have attacked the Plaza at Fayette Mall!